Motion Sickness

Out the front door to a world cold as ice
Pull my hat down and pick up my stride
I watch my breath as it steams the air to white
Winter breaks me at her start every time
Even though I'm prepared for the cold
In a while I'll be doing fine, I'm told
I know, I know

It just takes some getting used to, is all

I crossed an ocean, I took a lover
Took a picture outside the palace door
Showed my friend, he said he'd been there before
Crossed a river on a path train underground
Never thought I'd come back to my hometown
My eyes adjust to the dark as we go down
I look around

It just takes some getting used to..

It's not the changes but the s p a c e s in between
It's not the story but the cuts between the scenes
It's the part where your eyes can't focus
The minute just before you notice
The images align naturally

It just takes some getting used to, is all.......

16 bits.

1. My guitar is crapping out. Thats gonna take money.
2. I really don't want to spend more of my time inside the walls of a church. Even one that I love.
3. I want to see a school of worship start up in VA Beach.
4. I want to go backpacking overseas. By myself.
5. School starts again for me in January. In Jesus' Name, I WILL get it done this time.

6. I curse more these days. Its not very becoming. Well, it is. Just.. becoming something ugly.
7. Job hunting again.
8. Just made the most BA bulletin board ever.

9. My heart is aching again. Its that empty feeling that makes my eyes well up and my throat constrict. I miss Eric.
10. My HOUSE IS COMING TOGETHER.
11. But we need a couch. A cheep one.
12. And a piano. A cheep, beautiful sounding one.
13. ... I hate speakerphone.
14. I love my car. Thank you, my Jesus.
15. LOVE "Breaking Away" by Ratatat. Best 4min 19sec of my work day. hah.



16. back to work. meh.

Wants vs. Needs

I want: an upright piano


But first, I need: to pay off some debt.

Then, this baby will be mine:

these stand out

stand out 

stuck

Yeah. Thats how I feel.

Unable to move at the pace I want to. Having to make difficult decisions a lot this week.
Having to put distance where my heart feels at home.

I am overwhelmed and numb at the same time. I'm afraid of what might be happening.
I'm terrified of loss.


God, You are my safety.

MASTER TONIC:  A NATURAL ANTIBIOTIC
Adapted from Winkey Pratney, Fire on the Horizon, Renew From Gospel Light, Ventura, California, 1999


1 part fresh chopped garlic cloves (anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-viral, anti-parasitical)
1 part fresh chopped white onion, hottest onions available (similar properties as garlic)
1 part fresh grated ginger root (increases circulation to the extremities)
1 part fresh grated horseradish root (increases blood flow to the head)
1 part cayenne peppers (the hottest peppers available—Habanero, African Bird or Scotch Bonnets, etc.  – a great blood stimulant)

Note:  All of the herbs and vegetables should be fresh, organically grown if possible, and use dried herbs only in an emergency.

Fill a glass jar ¾ of the way full with equal parts by volume (e.g. a cupful of each) of the above ingredients – peeled and fresh, chopped or grated herbs.  Then fill up the rest of the jar to the top with raw unfiltered, unbleached, non-distilled apple cider vinegar.  (The solution should look brown and milky.)  Close and shake vigorously and then top off with vinegar if necessary.  Shake at least once per day for two weeks.

Then, filter the mixture through a clean piece of cotton (cheese cloth, or an old, clean t-shirt works), bottle and label it.  Make sure that when you make this tonic that you shake it every time you walk by it—a minimum of once per day. 

Store in glass container with a glass lid or stopper, if possible.  It does not need refrigeration, and lasts indefinitely without any other special storage conditions.


Dosage:  One-half to one ounce, two or more times daily (one to two tablespoons at a time). Gargle and swallow.  Don’t dilute with water.  [Editor’s note from Sher:  I recommend eating a piece of bread or a few dry crackers afterward to absorb the spiciness from your mouth.  However, it doesn’t burn your stomach].

For ordinary infections, a dropperful taken five to six times a day will deal with most conditions.  It can be used during pregnancies, is safe for children (however, use smaller doses) and as a food is completely nontoxic.

Talk it out with the big G

You know those weeks where pretty much every day you need to ask "what day is it today?"
Yeah, that's what this past week has been like.

I feel like I've run an emotional marathon at several different relational elevations. And now.. I'm just tired. I feel like I could spend a few straight days by myself doing almost nothing but soaking up God and this amazing weather.

It's Saturday night, I just got home, and I'm lying on my bed right now thinking about how I should read my Bible. And then I thought, what I really want to do right now is process through my week. I'm a verbal processor.. and I kid you not, I immediately discounted the Lord as being able to help me do that. I immediately thought, okay I need a friend or something. Well what the heck!
Really, TRULY, what I NEEEEEEED is to be able to verbally process my day with the Lord. I want our relationship to have conversational ease and intimacy. Shoot.

How quickly I forget what he can do, and how he loves me.

And I'll tell you something else. Something I have difficulty with: I don't make myself vulnerable with the Lord often enough. Vulnerability, I'm learning more and more is a state of trust, of feeling safety, and of peace. And I'm thinking to myself.. how do I get there?
And I think its not only a matter of just doing it, so that it becomes habitual, though that is part of it. I think, though- that its also a matter of believing that Jesus IS my trust, my peace, and my safety. In Him and no other.