Signals Past, the Future's Bleau.

All I want to do these past few days is write. Its addictive, in a really healthy way, me thinks.

First off- I'm perturbed about something. There's this one relationship in my life that will not, no matter what I do to avoid it, leave me alone. This relationship has hit both sky high and rock bottom... and as I was driving home tonight, I found myself trying to trace back to the beginning- and figure out exactly when we hit the "self-destruct" button. For a brief second, I thought if I could fix that moment, perhaps choose a different button, this relationship wouldn't be in shambles currently. There is no hope I can see about it. I feel sometimes like I'm stuck swimming through mud.

There's this part of me that wants resolution. I'm tired of seasons and seasons of episodes in the endless saga. I want purpose in this relationship. I want meaning. I want honesty, trust... hope.

I hope.

Ha.... then another friend calls me up and divulges his recent e-harmony escapades. You know, I am quick to mock an online match-maker, but there is something about it that seems even more risky and more adventurous than traditional face-to-face American dating.

la la, la la la.... warm it up.