Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
What else?
I find myself wondering at this point more and more frequently, 'what else?'
Seems like however much I am learning, however much I am doing, no matter the depth I reach relationally- I want more. I want to go deeper. I want to learn and do new things. I want to risk more of Jesus in my days.
And as I was flying downward from the crest of a roller coaster this afternoon..I thought to myself within a moment, "I am an adrenaline junkie. That's why I run after things the way I do. That's why I'm okay to be impulsive.'
All throughout the day, Dana kept saying things to me like, 'You have both nerves and a stomach of steel, Kate.' and 'You are one of a kind.' and 'You're the only one I could say this to...'
Why?
Why has He wired me like this? To accomplish what purpose? Why is it that I am FUELED when I hear teachings on 1 Jn.3 that tell me I cannot sin, because his seed remains in me, or when I meet someone in a 40 minute line at Busch Gardens who doesn't know the forgiveness I know? Why am I energized by the unknown and the prospect of gaining wisdom and understanding? Or being transformed by the renewing of my mind? Why is there a zealous heart in my body to know intimately: the emotions of God, the supernatural, and the power of one message?
There's this eagerness in me that wants to expedite and call out the spiritual clash in certain geographic regions and peoples.
... I come to the finish of days like this, and my heart is thirsty, whispering, 'please, more of you, Jesus.'
My eyes drift to a close as I ask Him to be the sunset to all my days.. and just before my dreams take flight, I hear Him answer me... 'You will see my glory.'
Seems like however much I am learning, however much I am doing, no matter the depth I reach relationally- I want more. I want to go deeper. I want to learn and do new things. I want to risk more of Jesus in my days.
And as I was flying downward from the crest of a roller coaster this afternoon..I thought to myself within a moment, "I am an adrenaline junkie. That's why I run after things the way I do. That's why I'm okay to be impulsive.'
All throughout the day, Dana kept saying things to me like, 'You have both nerves and a stomach of steel, Kate.' and 'You are one of a kind.' and 'You're the only one I could say this to...'
Why?
Why has He wired me like this? To accomplish what purpose? Why is it that I am FUELED when I hear teachings on 1 Jn.3 that tell me I cannot sin, because his seed remains in me, or when I meet someone in a 40 minute line at Busch Gardens who doesn't know the forgiveness I know? Why am I energized by the unknown and the prospect of gaining wisdom and understanding? Or being transformed by the renewing of my mind? Why is there a zealous heart in my body to know intimately: the emotions of God, the supernatural, and the power of one message?
There's this eagerness in me that wants to expedite and call out the spiritual clash in certain geographic regions and peoples.
... I come to the finish of days like this, and my heart is thirsty, whispering, 'please, more of you, Jesus.'
My eyes drift to a close as I ask Him to be the sunset to all my days.. and just before my dreams take flight, I hear Him answer me... 'You will see my glory.'
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I have nothing, and I have everything.
There's something very sobering about realizing there is nothing in your bank account anymore.
It reminds me of my dependence on God for the sustenance of the day.
And it reminds me that I am called to complete dependence on the Lord- of finance, of breath, of basic needs, and of appointments.
Something Eric said in passing this past weekend in Ohio has really stuck with me. He said, "Ad-lib and free worship are born out of a heart that knows God's word." Its true- you can only go so long on creativity and a love for music alone. Unless there is a love for Jesus, a love for his words, and his thoughts and his heart, you will be like a well dried up, longing to be filled with living waters.
I don't read a whole lot of scripture. In fact, more often than not I force myself to read it. For a couple years now I have been praying, asking God to give me a love for it, and honestly- this past weekend was one of the first times I believe I actually loved what I was reading. I felt like there was vitality being downloaded to my soul as I read through the verses and pages. And for possibly the first time ever, I ended my time reading wanting to go deeper- not wanting to put it down.
Brother Yun memorized 55 chapters of the bible while he was in prison, from Hebrews to Revelation. That's ridiculous. He said he didn't know how long he would have the privilege of holding the bible in his hands, so he ought to hold it in his heart. I WANT THAT kind of commitment to the things of God.
It reminds me of my dependence on God for the sustenance of the day.
And it reminds me that I am called to complete dependence on the Lord- of finance, of breath, of basic needs, and of appointments.
Something Eric said in passing this past weekend in Ohio has really stuck with me. He said, "Ad-lib and free worship are born out of a heart that knows God's word." Its true- you can only go so long on creativity and a love for music alone. Unless there is a love for Jesus, a love for his words, and his thoughts and his heart, you will be like a well dried up, longing to be filled with living waters.
I don't read a whole lot of scripture. In fact, more often than not I force myself to read it. For a couple years now I have been praying, asking God to give me a love for it, and honestly- this past weekend was one of the first times I believe I actually loved what I was reading. I felt like there was vitality being downloaded to my soul as I read through the verses and pages. And for possibly the first time ever, I ended my time reading wanting to go deeper- not wanting to put it down.
Brother Yun memorized 55 chapters of the bible while he was in prison, from Hebrews to Revelation. That's ridiculous. He said he didn't know how long he would have the privilege of holding the bible in his hands, so he ought to hold it in his heart. I WANT THAT kind of commitment to the things of God.
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