Slow Implosion.

Hey.

I feel like there have been things piling for weeks and months. What has made itself a pile of unsolved issues, of underlying wrongs, of scraps and diddies unknowable to anyone but me.. and now the pile is piled on top of me.

Its like an emotion overload. I'm on a crash coarse.

I've said and done arguably foolish and unwise things recently. And..... I'm reaping the rotten fruit of absolutely all of it. I'm a woman, therefore, I am allowed to be emotional about it, and probably blow things out of proportion.
Sometimes I just need to cry.
I cried on the drive home tonight. The wind was cold and my tears kind of stung my face as they ran down.. Whenever I cry on the drive home I always talk to God like I'm talking to a husband who's just there. He's just there to hear me and to hold me. All I found myself coming back to was "I need you, I need you, I need you."

And tonight I'm at a standstill because... my mouth has run away with me.
I have gossiped. I talk because I'm chatty and its something I like to do. What poison can come from the lips if not thought about first! I'm sorry.. but sorry doesn't fix things.

I cannot fix things.
Everyone is far and getting further. So help me God.