Talk it out with the big G

You know those weeks where pretty much every day you need to ask "what day is it today?"
Yeah, that's what this past week has been like.

I feel like I've run an emotional marathon at several different relational elevations. And now.. I'm just tired. I feel like I could spend a few straight days by myself doing almost nothing but soaking up God and this amazing weather.

It's Saturday night, I just got home, and I'm lying on my bed right now thinking about how I should read my Bible. And then I thought, what I really want to do right now is process through my week. I'm a verbal processor.. and I kid you not, I immediately discounted the Lord as being able to help me do that. I immediately thought, okay I need a friend or something. Well what the heck!
Really, TRULY, what I NEEEEEEED is to be able to verbally process my day with the Lord. I want our relationship to have conversational ease and intimacy. Shoot.

How quickly I forget what he can do, and how he loves me.

And I'll tell you something else. Something I have difficulty with: I don't make myself vulnerable with the Lord often enough. Vulnerability, I'm learning more and more is a state of trust, of feeling safety, and of peace. And I'm thinking to myself.. how do I get there?
And I think its not only a matter of just doing it, so that it becomes habitual, though that is part of it. I think, though- that its also a matter of believing that Jesus IS my trust, my peace, and my safety. In Him and no other.

So proud of my friends. :)

Feelings new and old.

This sucks. But its right.

solitude is really hard for me. It makes me face myself, my habits, and my emotions in ways that I naturally run away from.

1. Sometimes, its really difficult to live alone.

2. Lately I find myself questioning my relational decisions.

3. I need more self control. I need to that fruit of the Spirit. I need more of that Spirit.

Naming it.

My favorite girl names:
Stella-
   meaning: Star
   origin: Latin

Lois-
   meaning: Famous Warrior
   origin: German
Scarlett- 
   meaning: Creative;Regal
   origin: English
Isla-
   meaning: small scottish island
   origin: English
Fiona-
   meaning: fair, white, beautiful
   origin: Gaelic
Haven- 
   meaning: safety
   origin: English
Nora-
   meaning: Light
   origin: Greek
Evangeline-
   meaning: bearer of good news
   origin: Greek
Oraea-
   meaning: Reflective
   origin: Greek/Middle Eastern