Ground is being taken.

I have an abundance of ideas. I see things going wrong at church. What can be done to fix them.

I know that "the Mission" is something that is in God's will and God's heart for KPC and for the future. But where have we gone wrong? Right now, the 5pm service is like Soda that has gone completely flat... no fizz. Just nothing. So what do we do?

What exactly is "wrong"?

Part of it, I feel, is that it now feels very performance- oriented. The things that we are "good" at (i.e. worship) have become the only things that we really do anymore. There are 4 buttons on the KPC website:

Gather.
Service.
Community.
Personal & Spiritual Disciplines.

Gather is being done right now.. and we're starting to crank up Service (trailer city, elderly, pro-life events) and Community (promoting/creating lifegroups).. only after those things happen will personal spiritual disciplines begin to shape naturally, though there are resources at the church for more on that.

But, you see, those four things, should in some way be everything the Church is about. And all of those things point glory toward Jesus. SO- whats wrong? And how do we fix it?

Perhaps the Lord is saying GO BACK TO YOUR ROOTS. Return to your first love, so to speak. Return to me.

I don't just want to propose problems.. but solutions as well. And while I don't think by a long shot that I have all the solutions, I know God has placed within me some good ideas.

Bulletins:
I have picked up a bulletin all of 3x in the two months I have been home. the first time I thought: hey- cool looking bulletin.. picked it up and read everything in it, front to back. The Second time, I picked it up to see what was new. Nothing had changed. NOTHING in there was new. I thought- maybe there just isn't too much to report on this week. The following week, the 3rd time, I picked one up just to see if anything has changed- again nothing had. In weeks since then, I will periodically grab one and thumb through it to look for changes.. and I've seen nothing.
At the very least- the usual KPC announcements should be in there. As separate from KPC as the Mission is, it is still very much an important part of KPC. Those who have committed to such a new thing need to be kept in the loop of the rest of the church. Because there ARE new things happening- God is at work. He is alive and active, why aren't we projecting that? By doing the opposite, by not "saying" anything, we are in fact saying something. We are saying that God is stagnant. We are saying that God is distant both in physical and relational proximity. That is not the truth. WE NEED TO PROJECT TRUTH.

That said-
Delegation/Creating a job for everyone:
Everyone does need a place to plug in. Whether it is serving outside of the church with any of the ministry opportunities available, or inside the church- opportunities need to be made available. The Bulletin, for example: great seed, but it should have sprouted by now. The Bulletin is potentially 5 more people who are looking for a place to plug in and have something to "do", somewhere to "contribute."
There are so many "places" like this available and our eyes are closed to it.
Honestly, everyone contributing in some form will naturally keep us from getting prideful, as well as keeping anything from becoming performance oriented. The Bride was designed with checks and balances.. she functions beautifully when she steps into her destiny in Christ.
Really, there are very few reasons for any one person to be "overwhelmed" at this point- myself included.

Prayer Chalk Board:
This was a great idea that began back in the day. Every week, an opportunity was given to write down prayer requests and praises, acting as a catalyst for opportunities to join in prayer with our brothers and sisters AND rejoice in the God we love!
But recently.. I see very few people writing anything- and if they do write something, 9x out of 10 it is a request, not a praise. So why have people stopped writing? Why have they stopped sharing their hearts? How can we remind them to?
Because if we don't encourage sharing with each other, there won't be relationships. There won't be a feeling of "home". There won't be trust.

Another concern I have is: what is being done with the prayers and praises that ARE being written up there? Like the way we raise up our children, how are we encouraging a good thing when we see it? Because if good things go unnoticed, and unpraised, then why do it if being complacent or negative gets the same response from the church.
Who prays for the prayer requests? Does anyone, or do they simply get erased at the beginning of the next service?
THERE ARE SOLUTIONS. 2 ideas:
#1: A team could be assembled.. people who are passionate about prayer, could arrive to service 30 minutes to an hour early to pray for the things on the board. This group would be open to anyone, communicating a body that is open to building relationships and values and knows the importance of prayer.

#2: Praises and Requests written on the board could be typed up on a strip of paper that is inserted into each bulletin. While everybody gets the new NEWS and opportunites that will be in the bulletin, everyone also has a reminder to pray for/praise the Lord for what he IS doing today.

Family Meeting:
There are more things that need attention than the things I have spoken of. I think at this point it works to our advantage as a body that the 5pm service is still so small. I think it would be beneficial to have a 'family meeting' of some sort. We can spend a little or a lot of that time in prayer for the service, focus, or direction. Or we could openly discuss the things that have been going well/ not well at all. Are we good at "loving others" like Scott Wilcher would always remind us?
This 'meeting' could be as formal or informal as we make it. It could be broken up into smaller groups and then come back to one big group afterward. It could be moderated by whoever. In the Mission leadership meetings we have a POLICE OFFICER and a couple others who have designated jobs.. there is someone who writes down the bullet points of what was communicated, there is someone who steers the group back to the point if they venture on rabbit trails. There is someone who is the spokesperson and so on. This could be implemented on a small or a large scale. Again- the feeling we need to communicate is that WE CARE what everyone thinks, about their relationships with God and with others.
Finally, this 'meeting' could be at 5pm one Sunday: a short time of unplugged worship followed by this discussion time. OR --> this meeting could be held at a designated time/place, though everyone who comes to the mission may or may not be able/want to come to something else. I think its important enough that we could give it that "mission" slot on a Sunday evening.

Giving Everybody a Job:
I talked about that above. There are enough opportunities to serve. No one should be overwhelmed, and everyone should have a place to plug in.

Worship:
Its become, in my opinion, more of a multi-media performance, than a time to corporately meet with God and praise him with our friends for the great things he has done in our lives!!
The 'sound' as a whole, is TOO big for the amount of people present on a typical Sunday evening.
Its overwhelming. Things need to be toned down. Worship is what we're "good" at. Its the thing we've got a handle on, and we "know how to do well". But we need to be careful with that- for it is meeting the Lord, being awe-struck in his presence that is as dynamic as you get. As a group as well as leaders, we need to approach the throne in humility and contriteness of spirit. Every time.

A Voice Calling Out

I hear a voice calling out
I hear a voice in this wilderness
Where darkness has reigned for so long
Ground is being taken
The trumpet sounds
And Your glory touches the ground
And we all stand in awe
Who is this?
This glory far beyond us
I hear a voice

I hear a drum beating
heaven's drawing near
The sky will open
Your people are being healed
I hear a voice

[chorus:]
Heaven's battle cry
Rise
See the sun light what was hidden
Heaven's heart beat
See it moving
What was a whisper is now
A voice calling out

I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
Running to the battlefield
And losing their lives
I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
As a band of worshipers run to the battlefield
They're finding their lives
They're finding their lives
I hear a voice
_____________________________

FOR KPC.

apparently

I let things fester for awhile.
I allow bad attitudes to take me over.
I need to think twice about who counsels me.
I need to pray more about everything.
I can't articulate myself clearly enough to communicate on even the most basic of levels.

Lord- what a match you have picked for me with Eric. Someone I am completely overwhelmed in love with. Someone who cares tremendously about every decision I make-from where I put my cell phone while I go running to the very questions and emotions probing my heart's core. He's someone I long to share everything with. He's someone who cares to reprimand me when I'm out of line, and does it conveying the undeniable love of Christ. He's someone who allows me to call him out when he ought to be, someone who demonstrates on a daily basis the strength of the Lord God.
And he makes me feel like a treasure.

I disrespected him yesterday and I am so sorry for that. Remember September. Remember your life.

MOM.
so weird.
Last week I couldn't sleep for a few nights- simplemindedly mentioned it to Eric, really fishing for remedial suggestions. Somehow we launched into this whole conversation about how I really have never properly processed my mom's death all those years ago.
And God has made it more clear day in and day out that I have reached a point I cannot really move past (in terms of stepping more directly into the ministry calling I know has been placed on my life) until this "issue" is dealt with.
Problem is in order to go about this: each thread making up those memories needs to be regurgitated and examined in order to then be re framed in the right light.
Painful process.
But it means everything to me that while he's "seen people go through this kind of thing before", he thinks I'll be able to deal with it quickly. That means a lot, not because it will be over with quickly, but because he bothers to look at my character and my heart long enough to see that.

I realize I've been running away from Mom's death for ages now- shoot I was only 8 or so.
But how central it is. I've got all these questions- seems silly at first, but I'm so confident in their legitimacy.
How do I know how to be a good mother?
How can I stand by and support and encourage my husband?
How will I learn how to cook?
Why can't I dress myself?
Why do I have more boy friends than girl friends?
Why do I constantly see traits (both physical and spiritual) in Kelli that remind me directly of Mrs. O?
How come I get hit with grenades of emotion (and sadness)?

There is so much more. Everything that needs to be answered will be.

I was running earlier tonight- thinking about so much.

Moving out.
I talked earlier about this- said that I decided for my family to stay home. Now that a bunch of my friends are moving out it is SO tempting to investigate another living situation. I know its best to save money, stay here, keep up relationships yadda yadda. But I cannot even think about what life is going to look like for me to be working full time, going back to school full time, juggling church commitments, making time for my family, Eric, and other relationships. Honestly- going away to school is difficult, yes, but I would argue extensively that there is A LOT to to said for the difficulty of going to school and working both full time and simultaneously being expected to be part of a family, invest time where there already is none into the relationships at home.
So my question is- do I seriously look at how I can step out of that? I can think of 5 or 6 options right away. But as soon as I muse over living elsewhere, simplifying my life further- I'm met with this: God's not going to give me more than I can bear. And that is so true.
But will He allow me to give myself more than I can bear? And is that what I've done? And if so, is family the thing that I really want to cut out/should cut out?
Do I prioritize the way I do out of necessity, conviction, or convenience? Does that need to change?

I need money for books. W/o books, I will be starting class tomorrow for the first time in years. Starting all over. God help me.

And seriously, God- help me.

For you are the one we want to meet.
Jesus shine through all the praises that we sing.
Its all for you- Here we are, here we are.


Why doesn't anyone give Bethany Dillon the credit she deserves?


Pray:
Brian Sweet.
Alex Saady.
Spacey Luddleston.
Hills.
Me.
You.

hit

My heart sank tonight. Nothing about tonight was about me, but I'll tell you that the little bit of me that wanted to bask in having "someone" I love there with me.. sank.

These are the moments you want to remember together, to cherish together, are they not? These are the moments that you want to enjoy and participate in with one another.

I'm disappointed that none of that happened tonight.

We didn't watch together.
We didn't dance together.
We didn't sit together.
We didn't talk together.
We weren't together.

The whole time, that was all I wanted.

And then there's this: my last attempt.
Nobody else around, if that was the problem.
I just wanted to be with you.
And I felt like you gently pushed that back at me.
There will always be issues with us that wake you up entirely, make you hairs stand on end-
But the same things may be the single most relaxing, easy experience for me.
I could collapse in your arms at any given moment.

Because I love you.
My heart is for you.
Entirely.
For as long as life will allow.

The Vision: 24-7 Prayer

Words of the Vision

The Vision

So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this… 
The vision?

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.

You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. 
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers

choose to loose
that they might one day win
the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed.

Young people who beat their bodies into submission.

Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. 
The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ? 
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?

And the generation prays

like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive

inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. 
Would they surrender their image or their popularity? 
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,

they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. 
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming? 
Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.